The event that took place today is comparable to ants on cake you left on a table to go back to and eat later. IT WAS ANNOYING. Seriously, what the actual fuck is wrong with people these days? Let me tell you what happened that had invoked such angry comparison between the mood that is induced with ants on food.
Today, I had gone to the mall to shop for school supplies because school’s in like a week or two and I heard that it pays to be early… Or was it careful? I don’t know. Eitherway, the saying is relevant. I opted to shop in the department store area because that’s where I usually shop for school supplies every year. I chose to buy some stuff in the department store, but later realized (stupidly, might I add) that I’d rather shop for my notebooks and pens in the bookstore. I had paid for everything and went to the bookstore with my mom to buy some fucking notebooks and pens! Yay woooo! Hahahahaha JUST KIDDING. That decision is not worthy of a yay and a woooo put together in one sentence to imply a fun and desirable situation. My mom wanted to look around so she told me to meet her somewhere outside the bookstore, which left me looking around all by my lonesome. So there I was, minding my own shit when BAM my bag suddenly feels light. I check inside and another BAM my wallet was INVISIBLE. Okay, no, it was gone. Like for real. Someone stole it. Someone as evil as I was stupid at the time took it. I cannot believe how it happened! Like, one second, I was walking and wooosh someone passes by and my wallet was gone. Frankly, it sucked… balls. Now I’m broke and I feel terrible. On a more optimistic note, I guess I should just be thankful that it wasn’t my phone, or my comb. Oh thank God that dude didn’t steal my comb. Like, I thought I was pretty not-completely-cynical before, but this event has made me more maybe-a-little-more-than-not-so-but-not-yet-completely-cynical than ever. But seriously, it sucked guys.
Do I look like a man to you?
Oh man, I am just too awkward for life. The other day, my family and I went to the mall ‘cause my mom needed something from the hardware store. Being human, I heard the call of nature urging me to answer it as we were on our way there. So go to the comfort room I did. I think it’s important to say though, that I wasn’t wearing my glasses at this time because I forgot them at home. As I was approaching two open doors, the janitor pointed towards the room further back whose walls were colored pink. Since the janitor guy pointed me towards that room, I assumed that it was the comfort room for girls since I am a girl. (no kidding?!?) I entered that comfort room and came across a guy walking out. I thought that he had gone into the wrong bathroom. Oh silly man, walking into women’s comfort rooms. ha haha ha ha ha… Anyway, I, of course, did my thing in a cubicle, because that’s what people do in bathrooms. After I finished, I kinda thought about it a little. No, not doing my thing. I thought about coming across a dude as I entered the room. What are the odds, really, that a guy would be allowed to make that mistake and enter the girl’s room? For reassurance, I checked the cubicles next to me from the space at the bottom. I was not trying to be some creepy creeper, okay. I just wanted to see if the feet belonged to girls. OH BOY WAS I IN FOR A SHOCK. The pair of feet that I saw in the two cubicles to my left and right both belonged to guys. It’s either that, or they belonged to girls with really big feet and the same shoe preferences as my brother. I told myself to walk really fast when I opened the door so no one could see me, but as luck would have it, there were dudes using the urinals outside the cubicles, and I’m pretty sure they noticed me almost making a run for it. After this incident, two things popped into my mind. The first thought being a reminder for me to never ever forget my glasses and to never trust janitors who point you towards a comfort room. The second thought was more of a question really. Did that janitor guy think I was a guy with really long hair or something? Do I look gay? Not that being gay is bad, but I’m a girl, I really am.
Don’t be jelly just ‘cause I have a crayon at hand and you don’t.
My mom, brother, sister, and I swung by the mall today to look for clothes to wear for one of my cousin’s wedding. We went looking for my brother’s clothes first and at some point, we ended up in the department store. Very near the entrance, (or exit, depending on where you come from) there was this Faber Castell station where little kids were given pages to color using Faber Castell colored pencils and markers. My sister and I had no business in the department store, so my sister decided to color a page, while my mom assigned me to watch over her. At first, I was a little reluctant to color with her (and a bunch of other kids below 4th grade), but one of the ladies taking care of the station offered me a seat, and well, let’s just say I did not refuse. I could see a few old people’s eyes on me and for a while, I felt like I should have been a little embarrassed. But a few minutes of coloring later, all I could think was FUCK THE SONS OF BITCHES WHO ARE JUDGING ME RIGHT NOW. I’M COLORING AND HAPPY. They can think whatever they want ‘cause they’re just jelly. COLORING IS AWESOME.
Pooping jellybeans and puking chocolate.
Today, I did some thinking about… myself. I don’t really know how I had come to that topic, but I did. After much deliberation, (not really much.) I have come to the conclusion that I am one huge ass drama queen. I am so damn emotional, I actually find it funny myself. lol. (i really did lol, you know.) I’ve read over a few of my older posts and if I was anybody else reading them, I’d totally get sad or pissed off. Actually, more pissed off than sad. Either way, sad and pissed off are two things that aren’t good, therefore, they are bad. So I decided to rid the world of my horrid posts and now I can die knowing I did something good in my lifetime. Hold on, I can’t die yet. I’ve yet to ride a unicorn who will take me to a magical place filled with rainbows and other unicorns who will poop roasted marshmallow-flavored jellybeans and puke rainbow colored chocolates, both being yummy and clean to eat. Until that happens, I have no plans of dying just yet. Unless of course I just die, then I die. lol. Okay, that wasn’t funny. Oh, and another thing I noticed about myself is that I am terrible at using figurative language. Seriously, it makes me laugh how amateur I am with usage of figures of speech and idioms. I will learn, yes I will. Soon, child. Soon. *pats own head* Okay, I’m gonna end here before I say anything crazy (That is, if what I’ve said so far isn’t already crazy.)
